Expired Foods: December 2005

We'll miss you donut dude.

Published by Expired Foods on 12.30.2005 at 11:31 AM.

If you ever saw the donut man making the donuts back in the day, you'll know who this is... CNN.com - 'Time to make the doughnuts' actor dies

Classic Food Funny

Published by Expired Foods on at 10:20 AM.

One day a guy was driving home from work urging for baked beans. After so long he finally went into a nearby restaurant and ate 5 servings of beans. He drove home and his wife told him she had a surprise for him,so she blindfolded him. Just then the phone rang and the wife went to get it but said whatever you do, dont peek and sat him at the dining room table.The guy noticed the beans satrted to have an effect. He lifted up his leg and let out a big one. He kept farting and finally the wife got off the phone. She walked into the dining room and said...

...Whats that smell?

It was time for his surprise so the wife took off his blind fold and there were guests all around the table for his birthday.

How to order wine without looking like an...

Published by Expired Foods on 12.29.2005 at 8:21 AM.

Obviously, someone who serves many folks wine and has had the unfortunate experience of dealing with those who don't know their way around a wine menu and how to be human when ordering it. Great advice here on how not to "be that guy"... Advice on wine from Waiter Rant

Don't over-chocolate.

Published by Expired Foods on 12.28.2005 at 8:49 AM.

Eat too much chocolate, fall over and croak? Wow, and to think I'd bet a guy to see if he could eat an entire 5 lb. bar of hershey's chocolate earlier this year... Oops, luckily he didn't take the bet. Theobromine poisoning - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

10 Worst Foods for Kids

Published by Expired Foods on 12.27.2005 at 9:18 AM.

This list could also be called: The 10 foods kids want to eat the most. The 10 most enjoyed foods by kids. 10 Worst Food for Kids

Taking cheese to a whole new, strange place.

Published by Expired Foods on 12.26.2005 at 9:58 AM.

Not sure what to make of this site, but Cheddar Cheesus is odd and funny in a strange kinda way... Cheesus Industries - Home of Cheddar Cheesus

Lost origins of ice-cream

Published by Expired Foods on at 9:02 AM.

Who knew? Marco Polo, Nero? I thought my ice cream was much more recently created... Lost origins of ice-cream

Not a good way to break bad habits...

Published by Expired Foods on 12.22.2005 at 2:42 PM.

Wow, do I even need to make a comment here? But... He may be the reason I couldn't get a chalupa the other night. 500-Pound Man Accused Of Fast-Food Scam

EF Moment in Food History

Published by Expired Foods on 12.20.2005 at 11:10 AM.

This sure makes for funny food-related conversation. 207 BC: Chrysippus, Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after seeing a donkey eating figs.

The $45 Emergency Menu for 4 to 6

Published by Expired Foods on at 10:25 AM.

Well, if you are on a tight budget or just want to save a little, the Hillbilly Housewife has a soup to nuts list on how to get by frugally on a $45 shopping list. Nothing gourmet here, but it'll get you by... Hillbilly Housewife

How did fruitcake become a holiday tradition?

Published by Expired Foods on 12.17.2005 at 11:02 AM.

My answer to this question is, "I don't know, and I won't even touch it to find out what it tastes like." If I was given one, I'd probably use it as a paperweight. Here's your answer... Ask Yahoo: Fruitcake

Sign me up for a job!

Published by Expired Foods on 12.16.2005 at 8:03 AM.

I would certainly welcome the opportunity to say "I work in frozen food". I will protect and defend all that is good in the world of frozen food! American Frozen Food Institute

Found on eBay

Published by Expired Foods on 12.15.2005 at 9:41 AM.

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Does anyone buy the following? Let me know if you have one, use one or the like...

Tachyon Food Harmonizing Disk ~

Everything on Earth and in this universe exists within is own Energetic Continuum. In addition to the material, physical body, we have several other layers of energetic bodies. Through all these layers of energy, an Energetic Continuum flows from the highest, most refined subtle bodies down to the material body.

The energy flowing through the Energetic Continuum comes from one source. In India, it is called the Divine Mother and in modern, spiritual teachings it is called Cosmic Energy. Also the modern physics has a name for it: Zero-Point Energy or Free Energy. Well known by Feng Shui, Reiki, Prana Energy and Radionic practitioners and healers.

This food harmonizing disk is great to use:

* To detoxicate the body
* To support blood circulation
* To stimulate the immune system
* Energizes and harmonizes your drinking water

To charge your food with pure energy put it onto the disk for about 10 minutes or put it under your fruit or veggie bowl to keep the foods fresh.

Before baking your next apple pie know: Who was Granny Smith?

Published by Expired Foods on 12.14.2005 at 3:27 PM.

I always wondered, but never asked... 'Jackie' wants to know... Who was Granny Smith? (and why am I eating her apples?)

Reminded me of Austin Powers...

Published by Expired Foods on 12.13.2005 at 8:40 AM.

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Gross, but interesting (unfortunately)

Published by Expired Foods on at 8:24 AM.

It's not everyday you find a site like this one. So, just in case you're in the market for a great recipe for your next lamb fry dinner... 101 Testicle recipes & fun facts

According to this website...

Published by Expired Foods on 12.12.2005 at 8:01 AM.

I refuse to accept that tomatoes could be evil. Just think... They are the basis of many of civilization's best foods. tomatoes are evil

Cool bottle and all...

Published by Expired Foods on 12.09.2005 at 8:41 PM.

...But, deep sea drinking water? Sounds like something I would WANT to avoid. Haven't had it so I'm not passing judgement... Hawaii in a Bottle

EF Food Fact

Published by Expired Foods on 12.08.2005 at 8:20 AM.

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Each year Campbells sells over 100 million cans of pork and beans.

World's Largest Peanut

Published by Expired Foods on at 8:18 AM.

The peanut monument, located in Turner County, was designated the official peanut monument in 1998. At one time, peanuts were the number one cash crop in Georgia and were largely responsible for keeping many Turner County families fed. In honor of the importance of the peanut, one of Ashburn's citizens erected what some call the 'World’s Largest Peanut.” The monument is approximately 20 feet tall."

It's name leaves nothing to the imagination...

Published by Expired Foods on 12.07.2005 at 8:32 AM.

A site dedicated to stretching your food $. CheapCooking.com

KidsKuisine Kitty Litter Cake

Published by Expired Foods on 12.06.2005 at 3:53 PM.

This cake is actually for real, with real ingredients. I can't see kids or adults, for that matter, digging in with the scooper to have a piece of "cake". KidsKuisine Kitty Litter Cake Recipe

Making sauce sexy, yet simple

Published by Expired Foods on at 9:22 AM.

Truth be told, the title got me. Sexy Sauces

Flower or food?

Published by Expired Foods on at 8:59 AM.

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EF Food Fact

Published by Expired Foods on 12.05.2005 at 5:04 PM.

An apple is 84 % water.

Best Yeast Rolls, Ever!

Published by Expired Foods on at 8:08 AM.

4 tablespoons margarine
1/3 cup shortening
3/4 cup + 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
3 large eggs
4 packages (1/4 oz. size) active dry yeast
1/2 cup lukewarm water
7-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
1-1/4 cups milk

Cream margarine and shortening with sugar until light and fluffy. Blend in eggs slowly. Dissolve yeast in warm water (110--be sure that water is not too hot). Sift together flour and salt. Add half of flour and half of milk to the shortening and sugar mixture. Add dissolved yeast. Add remainder of milk and flour to make a soft dough. Cover dough and let rest for 10 minutes. Roll dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 8 to 10 minutes or until dough is smooth and stretchy. Place dough in a lightly greased bowl large enough to hold dough when doubled in size, turning once to grease the surface. Cover; let rise in a warm place (90 F) until it doubles in size (about 2 hours). Fold dough over from 4 sides to knead lightly. Let rise again until double in size. Roll dough out onto a lightly floured surface and shape as desired.

To Make Cloverleaf Rolls
1. Shape dough into small balls. Three balls should half-fill a greased muffin pan. Brush with melted margarine or butter.
2. Let rise in warm place (90 F) until double in size (about 25 to 30 minutes). Do not let rolls "over-rise".
3. Bake in a preheated 350 F oven until both
the top and bottom of rolls are golden brown, about 10 to 12 minutes.
4. Remove from oven and brush top of rolls with melted margarine.

White Trash Cooking Book

Published by Expired Foods on 12.02.2005 at 9:54 AM.

This recipe book actually has solid recipes in it. Makes a great gift. P.S. If you like the first there are apparently 2 more after it... Check Amazon... White Trash Cooking

Who knew you train this hard on pretzels

Published by Expired Foods on at 8:46 AM.

So what does one learn at Pretzelvania? Do you learn the perfect pretzel twist? Shelf life of pretzel rods? How many grains of salt on each pretzel? Check it out and learn all there is to know...

The Lobster Man From Mars

Published by Expired Foods on 12.01.2005 at 9:49 AM.

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Hey, it has food in the title, so here at EF, we'll give it a look. It's tagline: "He came from the stars, Lobster Man From Mars... Earthmen beware, he's after your air... No place to hide... The Lobster's just outside!" My advice to you: If this was the last movie available on your local vid store's shelf, avoid it like avian flu.